Thursday, September 9, 2010

Star wonder

Star light, Stars so bright
A million stars I saw tonight.
I wish I may, no I wish I might
spend a few hours gazing at you tonight.

To watch the clouds block your light,
To see the moon reflect just right.
So wish I could join you up above
unable to let go, holding earth so tight.

Photo by Carrie Lambing Photographic.

Life seems to rush by at different speeds. Sometimes we are able to savor every moment other times just barely keeping up with all the very important things pulling us in opposite directions. The more you close your fingers around it and try to hold on, grip it, slow it down, the more quickly it slips through your fingers like warm fine sand. Lately, I wonder if I'm doing enough to keep up with the important people in my life. Often I feeling I'm loosing myself in the busy-ness of the day, keeping up by loosing my sense of self and direction.

I know that hiding is an option but even though stillness is what I'm looking for hiding can suck you in like a black hole and eat you alive. I am sitting in a mostly quiet house (not hiding) enjoying the peace that comes at the end of a good life. When the colors seem sharper and the people seem clearer. Dinner is cooking and the pieces of life become like the spices, just a little goes a long way and mixing the right ones together smell so good as they simmer away! Do you remember the last food you REALLY tasted? I am reminded of my Granddaddy and how much he loved to taste food. He really enjoyed a good meal and always complimented the cook on each dish individually. I'm sorry this is so random, I need to write. Not sure how much to say.

I feel raw. Like life is pulling in so many directions and all are good but the options don't mix too well. Choose your own adventure books never sat very well with me. I always had to go back and ready every available option before moving on. What happens when you can't read ahead? What happens when there isn't another chapter? I feel very comfortable in this quiet space. I'm just not very good at moving on from it. Maybe it's because I don't find this space often enough. Maybe it's because it's a rare gem, a moment on a mountain, a moment with a friend, a moment walking to my motor home in the dark, looking up at the stars, inviting me to join them...

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